kotoba

It was raining this afternoon. It felt really good. Normally, Saturday afternoons are hot and humid. The sun would shine really bright.

But today was different. It rained. And that made today a little bit more special than other Saturday afternoons.

I spent my rainy Saturday afternoon reading Haruki Murakami’s Firefly. It was one of the stories in his compilation of short stories called “Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman” that I bought over a year ago in Popular’s Book Fair.

Honestly, I don’t really understand most of the stories. I couldn’t get what he is trying to say. Every time I got to the end, I would be in a state of confusion. I would think to myself that there must be something more, that I have to look between the lines. But I don’t know where to look.

Then I started to think that maybe the end doesn’t matter, all that matters is the journey to the end.

Firefly is a story about a boy and a girl who doesn’t have much to say to each other. During their dates, they would walk together in silence and eat their meals without saying a word. It’s not because they like it that way, they just couldn’t find anything to talk about when they are together. Maybe they lack chemistry. They do want to say something, but the right words just elude them.

Like what I’m experiencing now.

I started out wanting to write about possibilities. But here I am writing 1000 words bout totally unrelated things. I knew what I wanted to say, but my mind just went blank when I stared at this blank space. I have the words in my mind, but I just can’t seem to type it out. It is frustrating. 

I wish you can just get into my head to see the words for yourself.

That’s why I envy those that can seem to express what he is feeling so easily. So easily that I can almost feel what he is feeling too. Like he is talking about me, to me.

They are just words, but they are able to touch my heart, when nothing can.

Scars on me

About a week ago, I fell down while I was walking my dog, Tommy. It was  my fault, really, because I was a bit distracted that time. After some tail-yanking, growling and pain, I got up and continued the walk with bloody knees. Then I got home and put on some Hansaplast on top of the bruises. 

They are still on my knees now, those plasters, only that they have morphed into no-brand ones, not so miraculously. I still felt pain now and then, especially when I woke up in the morning*ahem* afternoon. I try hard not to let water get into them when I bath.

The wounds have changed into ugly “shell –like” things. I was convinced that there will be scars on my knees from now on. Big,ugly, brownish ones.

But then, the scars started to come off when I poked at them. Big, ugly, brownish scars came off, revealing perfectly fine, untainted skin underneath.

                                                                ~*~

Does it sound familiar to you? It is a bit like life, isn’t it…you fell down hard, complete with bruises, pain and scars. You thought that you will never recover, that you will be scarred for life.

But then, after some time, nature took off the scars you had, revealing beautiful skin underneath, even more beautiful than the one you had previously, only if you care to “poke” at them. If you never make an effort, you will never find out that those scars are actually shells that are there to protect your wounds, so that they will be able to recover in due time.

You have become a more beautiful person because of all the scars you once had.

That’s what I thought when I look at my scars just now.

 

p/s If you didn’t notice, I’ve changed the look of my blog!

       Do you like it?

Renovation in progress

 

Watch this space ;)

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The funny thing about us

“(Human beings’ funniest characteristic is) our contradictoriness. We are in such a hurry to grow up, and then we long for our lost childhood. We make ourselves ill earning money, and then spend all our money on getting well again. We think so much about the future that we neglect the present, and thus experience neither the present nor the future. We live as if we are never going to die, and die as if we never lived.”

An excerpt from Paulo Coelho’s Like the Flowing River.

Just wanna share this with everyone because it’s worth thinking about.

Tomodachis

They say that friends are your greatest treasures. I am so glad I have you.

I love you, my friends :)